Web Wiseass: Information, served with attitude

Coffeehouses

Latte art at Urth Cafe Don't believe the McDonald's ads. You know, the commercials for their new McCafe line of coffees. According to Mickey-Dees, in order to patronize a coffeehouse, a beret and a proclivity for poetry are required.

Um, no.

Coffeehouses are not intimidating; they are cafes where, for the cost of a beverage and maybe a nice pastry, salad or sandwich, one may loiter all day...or until the place closes. Pretty cool, yes? No berets or pretentious attitudes required. The Wiseass has been hanging out in coffeehouses since 1994 when the Wiseass didn't know a latte from a cappuccino.

Don't fear the barista when you approach the counter. Just remember, most of them may be half your age -- or close to it. They serve coffee and tea, fer crissakes. They are not the CEO of the company where you toil in a cubicle, nor are they your former stern parochial headmaster with a ruler held aloft, ready to smack the counter if you dare to ask a question.

And don't fret over Grande and Venti. That's Starbucks-speak for Medium and Large, respectively. This is all you need to know when ordering an espresso drink:

Single shot of espresso = Small
Double shot of espresso = Medium
Triple shot of espresso = Large

You'll sound like a real pro when you stroll up to the counter and announce, "Double shot iced latte with non-fat milk." (BTW, that's the Wiseass's standard coffee drink. Just in case you were wondering.)

A little piece of advice, though: If you want to get a good night's sleep, DO NOT order a double or triple shot espresso drink after 8:00 p.m. Unless it's decaf, of course. But what's the point of that? Gotta have that caffeine.

The Coffeehouse...according to Wikipedia

Coffeehouse[a] (French/Portuguese: café; Spanish: cafetería or café; Italian: caffè, German: Café or Kaffeehaus, Turkish: Kahvehane) or coffee shop (from Arabic: qahwa) is an establishment which primarily serves prepared coffee or other hot beverages. It shares some of the characteristics of a bar, and some of the characteristics of a restaurant, but it is different from a cafeteria. As the name suggests, coffeehouses focus on providing coffee and tea as well as light snacks. This differs from a café, which is an informal restaurant, offering a range of hot meals, and possibly being licensed to serve alcohol. Many coffee houses in the Muslim world, and in Muslim districts in the West, offer shisha, flavored tobacco smoked through a hookah. In establishments where it is tolerated - which may be found notably in the Netherlands, especially in Amsterdam - cannabis may be smoked as well. More...

Coffee Fun Facts!

Every day, Americans drink more than 300 million cups of coffee; 75% of those cups are home brewed.

If you like your espresso coffee sweet, you should use granulated sugar, which dissolves more quickly, rather than sugar cubes; white sugar rather than brown sugar or candy; and real sugar rather than sweeteners which alter the taste of the coffee.

"Cowboy coffee"? It was said they made their coffee by putting ground coffee into a clean sock and immerse it in cold water and heated over campfire. When ready, they would pour the coffee into tin cups and drink it.

It takes approximately 42 coffee beans to make an average serving of espresso.

More Coffee Fun Facts...

Even MORE Coffee Fun Facts...

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